Wow! The time is really flying by. It is Wednesday already and I was trying to write by MONDAY at the latest- *smile* Oh well, better late than never, right? But I know you are all wanting to know what is happening!!
So here goes-- I have lost 15.4 pounds since I started. I am really starting to feel the difference- On Sunday, I got up to get ready for church, and I thought "I wonder...." of course you KNOW what I am wondering because you also have in your closet clothes that you won't put into storage or give to charity because that would be an admission that what you have gained is permanent!! I also have those clothes in my closet, and one of them is a beautiful suit that I have not worn in 2 years, maybe more. I refuse to take it out of my closet because it is so beautiful, and because I don't want to know that it doesn't fit, so I simply "choose" to wear something else every week. But this week, I am really wondering.... can I get the button done up? I gingerly reach for it and step into it slowly sliding it over my hips. I reach behind-- it buttons! Wow! I fumble with the zipper and enlist my husband's help. It zips! I am happy and amazed- but still don't dare sit down. I take it off and wear something else, including a sweater that used to be too tight.
Later in the day, I realize that I am REALLY hungry- I feel grumpy and angry that I am so hungry. I am short with my kids (who for some reason are exceptionally hyper-- can you say HALLOWEEN CANDY?!?!) When I went to bed, I reflected on the day. I start to wonder... I have read Dana Thornock's works about Eating to be lean, and her theory that when our bodies are restricted from calories for a period of time, weight loss slows because our bodies think we are starving, so they adapt to the new caloric intake and start to maintain at that level. I wonder if this increase in hunger is a call from my body to be sure that we are not actually starving before it adjusts to the new level. I drift off to sleep wondering about it.
Some of you may know, and many of you probably don't, that I have a sleep disorder- sleep-eating. I know, I know as if that is a real disorder, but seriously, I have for YEARS woken up in the night and gone out to the kitchen, eat whatever I can find and go back to bed. I am awake enough to remember it when I wake up in the morning and wonder why my mouth tastes so disgusting, but not awake enough to comprehend what I am actually doing. Since being on HCG, I have only had 2 incidents of sleep eating. This is unheard of because it has always been calorically related-- like if I get enough calories during the day, I will not get up and eat, but if I am low (like go to bed even slightly hungry) I will almost assuredly be up eating. And the worst part of it is that I have no discrimination at that point! So whatever I can find, is what I eat. As you can imagine, my dieting efforts have been frustrating and fruitless.
So Sunday night, after being hungry all day, I got up and started eating. Now to my credit, I thought I was awake, and that I was making some good choices. I ate a breadstick, some cottage cheese, and some chicken. My husband heard me out of bed, and he came out to talk to me. He asked me what I was doing. I woke up, and couldn't remember what I had been doing. It started coming together for me, and I realized that the chicken I had cooked for the kids was frozen when I started cooking it, so I did not take the skin off. Oh, I took it off before I served it, but the chicken I am sure had a lot more fat in it than if I had skinned it first.
I woke up the Monday morning and weighed. I had gained one half pound. I started thinking about things, and decided not to stress about not having lost that day. I spoke with Doctor Wright about it, and we agreed that I would try to take a day each week (probably Sunday) to eat double the calories that I am currently eating. It is still only about 1000 calories, so it is possible that I will still lose weight, but even if all I do is reset my body to think that there is still enough food, and I am not going to starve to death, then it will just be like changing gears, and then I go on losing.
Tuesday morning I got up and had lost 2.5 pounds. Wednesday I had lost another 1 pound bringing the total up to 15.5!
Soooo... I am still going the right direction!
I promised some additional recipes- and here they are:
Bison "tacos"
3.5 oz ground bison
Onions
Taco Seasoning
Romaine Lettuce
Tomatoes
Cook the bison with just a few slices of onion for flavor. Add the taco seasoning to taste. Place bison on a romaine lettuce leaf . Add chopped tomatoes (a handful, of course). Roll up the lettuce leaf-- Delicious!
Stir Fry
You could do this with beef or chicken. I did it with chicken.
3.5 oz chicken, cut into bite size pieces
1 Bell Pepper
2 T Braggs liquid amino acids
Stir fry the chicken (add a couple slices of onion for flavor) Add 1 T of Braggs to keep the chicken from sticking. Cut up the bell pepper , and add to the pan. Cook and stir, add the rest of the Braggs and cook until peppers are as done as you like them.
The other great thing about this recipe is how BIG your serving looks! So wonderfully satisfying.
We are trying Cabbage Rolls tonight-- I will let you know how it goes.
Showing posts with label stubborn weight loss. Show all posts
Showing posts with label stubborn weight loss. Show all posts
Wednesday, November 5, 2008
Thursday, October 30, 2008
Just getting going-- and loving it!
Hello, all--
I am 36 years old (but don't tell anyone-- I only admit to 26!) and I have had a weight problem most of my life. Well, not a SERIOUS weight problem when I was young, I was just a little pudgy beginning in about 3rd grade. My dad also had a weight problem (his was pretty serious) and he was concerned for me, and wanted me to look my best and be healthy. He would always tell me that I should hold in my stomach, and it seemed (to me, at least) that he was worried that I would get fat. I believed it.
Through junior high and high school my weight fluctuated between size 12-16. I wasn't really concerned about it, and I always ate pretty much what I wanted. My mother fed us whole grains and lots of vegetables, so as a rule, I ate pretty well. I didn't have a lot of money, and we lived out of town a ways, so the "7-11 run" that my kids are into wasn't a problem for me. Not a lot of junk food available, and I always liked pretty healthy food, but still, I have always been a big girl. A strong girl too, I have always put my size off to my "raised on a farm" upbringing, bucking hay and milking the cow.
I got married at age 22 and a size 10. I figured I could be happy at that size for the rest of my life. GO ME!!
But.... marriage was stressful, and pregnancy was worse. My husband regularly told me that he was afraid I would get fat. I rembered my dad was afraid of that too. I believed it. I gained 40 pounds before I got pregnant, then another 60 (no that is not a typo) while I was pregnant. My life felt out of control. I had no idea how to lose weight. I delivered my first baby at 268 pounds. I got right to work, and lost down to 225, but couldn't seem to shake it after that. I got pregnant again about 15 months later, this time only gaining 35 (not sure what was different). After that I worked really hard, and got back to...... 225. Couple of years later, I was pregnant again- this time only gained 25 pounds, but still I stuck at 225. One more time (this time only 5 months later YIKES!!) and I gained 17 pounds, then lost 16. Bringing me back to.... 226. Over the next few years I crept up, settling around 250. I tried numerous food plans, but I have ZERO will power, and I get EXTREMELY GRUMPY when I diet, (not to mention that I had 4 small children and did I mention? a stressful marriage) so didn't make a lot of progress.
I got divorced (marriage is stressful!) and I took a very active job and dropped to 220!! Hooray! Then I broke my foot, lost my active job and got remarried (marriage is stressful!) to an AMAZING man (still stressful) with 4 more kids (also stressful) and gained back to 260. AUUGH what is the point? My husband also has a weight problem, so we bought a GYM pass and 125 sessions with a personal trainer... we went 4 times a week with our trainer for 2 months- DID NOT LOSE A POUND!! OK, I like to exercise, so I go to water aerobics or ride my bike, or take the dog for a walk- and I usually do one of those every day. And I think--- I am OK. I will just be fat and happy, and try not to feel bad about getting the "preferred smoker" rate on my life insurance, even though I have never even tried a cigarette or about not being able to tie my shoes without breathing hard, or about my little boys thinking my mushroom top looks so interesting that they have to feel it every day, or that one of my boys is always telling me about the latest weight loss commercial. But I still wanted to find some way to get the weight off. I secretly wished that I could be AMAZINGLY gorgeous and people would be SHOCKED to learn that I was older than 26, and have 8 (yep count 'em) children!
Then I found Dr. Wright (check out his blog!) and he told me that there is a theory that obese people have a MALFUNCTION in the Hypothalmus gland that makes my body store fat abnormally, and in ways that make it not accessible until AFTER all of the normal fat and structural fat are gone. Meaning (on the off chance that I gain some will power) even if I lose weight, I won't lose it in my stomach first (more likely my breasts-- which was the one part of my body that I could really feel good about!) I started thinking about this, and doing some research. hCG is a pregnancy hormone (it is the one your pregnancy test looks for to get the positive result) so I know that I am not allergic to it, and the CLAIM is that even though you are on a SEVERELY restricted diet, because the hCG is correcting the malfunction, your abnormal fat stores are being released and YOU DON'T FEEL HUNGRY!
Not hungry? My life is one long meal- I am ALWAYS HUNGRY!! I eat every 2-3 hours, and am always thinking about what is next. Now, part of it (give me a break, already!) is because I don't like to face all the HUNGRY PEOPLE at dinner time when I have not thought about it yet... or breakfast, or lunch, or snack... you get the point. So this claim was hard for me to believe. Still, it made some sense. If my body is getting all of the calories it needs by using up the fat stores.... hmm I was going to have to try it.
Once I said I was going to do it, I still took a few days to get into the doctor and get the tests run. Dr. Wright and Dr. Purser ran a bunch of labs, and an EKG to be sure my heart was up to the intense STARVATION diet that I was about to embark upon (how did I talk myself into this? I seriously have no willpower!!) While they are telling me that I am the perfect candidate (over 30, female, with children) I am still somewhat skeptical, but excited as well. Wow, imagine me, a size 9-
All the tests come back good, and we schedule for the demonstration with the shots (Did you say SHOTS?!?!) for the next morning. I learned how to give myself an intra-muscular injection (with a NEEDLE!) in my upper right thigh. I was scared, but once I jabbed it in... I couldn't even feel it. That needle is really thin. (Not like the epidural needle-- I went for natural childbirth because I was too afraid of THAT needle.)
Now for the REALLY FUN PART!!! You have to BINGE (really? Binge?) for 3 Days prior to starting on the diet part of the plan. This is to allow the hCG to build up in your system AND to build up your normal fat stores so that when you start the RESTRICTION part of the diet, you can tolerate it. We had a great time eating pizza, ice cream, cookies, muffins, cheeseburgers, and chocolate, chocolate and MORE chocolate. Ahh the rapture....
So I started getting scared on the morning of the third binge day- what if this is a big joke? Here I am putting on 10 pounds over the weekend, and then.... omg-- what if I can't do it?!? How did I get into this mess? Here I will be WORSE off than when I started...
So I decided to "practice" the diet on day 3 of binging. I did ok-- until the kids got home, then I was STARVING and ate some leftover pizza. Later, panic REALLY set in and I ate 4 cookies, and 2 buscuits, and 3 cups of whole fat milk, followed by dinner. I felt terrible. My head was hurting, I was exuasted within the hour. My husband was worried. We went grocery shopping to get all of the healthy food for the next 60 days. I started thinking about things-- hmm. I know that white flour and sugar are addictive substances, maybe the panic is related to the addiction-- and there are PLENTY of chemicals in our food supply that are also addictive... or so I have read. I am going to assume that this is normal. I gave myself permission to be scared.
Next morning I got on the scale-- I lost 4 pounds. There must be something wrong with the scale, so I laugh it off and stick with the diet for another day. I get on the scale again the next morning (I am surprisingly not hungry) this time, 2.5 pounds. Wow! I stick with it for another day. My friend is so proud of me for or sticking with the diet, but I feel sort of GUILTY accepting all of the praise since I am not exerting any WILL POWER (which I don't have a lot of) since I am not really that hungry. Anyway, day three on the elf food diet, and I have lost 8 pounds! Amazing-- also, my hydration level is going up, and my body fat percentage is going down (so don't tell me it's all water...)
I am 36 years old (but don't tell anyone-- I only admit to 26!) and I have had a weight problem most of my life. Well, not a SERIOUS weight problem when I was young, I was just a little pudgy beginning in about 3rd grade. My dad also had a weight problem (his was pretty serious) and he was concerned for me, and wanted me to look my best and be healthy. He would always tell me that I should hold in my stomach, and it seemed (to me, at least) that he was worried that I would get fat. I believed it.
Through junior high and high school my weight fluctuated between size 12-16. I wasn't really concerned about it, and I always ate pretty much what I wanted. My mother fed us whole grains and lots of vegetables, so as a rule, I ate pretty well. I didn't have a lot of money, and we lived out of town a ways, so the "7-11 run" that my kids are into wasn't a problem for me. Not a lot of junk food available, and I always liked pretty healthy food, but still, I have always been a big girl. A strong girl too, I have always put my size off to my "raised on a farm" upbringing, bucking hay and milking the cow.
I got married at age 22 and a size 10. I figured I could be happy at that size for the rest of my life. GO ME!!
But.... marriage was stressful, and pregnancy was worse. My husband regularly told me that he was afraid I would get fat. I rembered my dad was afraid of that too. I believed it. I gained 40 pounds before I got pregnant, then another 60 (no that is not a typo) while I was pregnant. My life felt out of control. I had no idea how to lose weight. I delivered my first baby at 268 pounds. I got right to work, and lost down to 225, but couldn't seem to shake it after that. I got pregnant again about 15 months later, this time only gaining 35 (not sure what was different). After that I worked really hard, and got back to...... 225. Couple of years later, I was pregnant again- this time only gained 25 pounds, but still I stuck at 225. One more time (this time only 5 months later YIKES!!) and I gained 17 pounds, then lost 16. Bringing me back to.... 226. Over the next few years I crept up, settling around 250. I tried numerous food plans, but I have ZERO will power, and I get EXTREMELY GRUMPY when I diet, (not to mention that I had 4 small children and did I mention? a stressful marriage) so didn't make a lot of progress.
I got divorced (marriage is stressful!) and I took a very active job and dropped to 220!! Hooray! Then I broke my foot, lost my active job and got remarried (marriage is stressful!) to an AMAZING man (still stressful) with 4 more kids (also stressful) and gained back to 260. AUUGH what is the point? My husband also has a weight problem, so we bought a GYM pass and 125 sessions with a personal trainer... we went 4 times a week with our trainer for 2 months- DID NOT LOSE A POUND!! OK, I like to exercise, so I go to water aerobics or ride my bike, or take the dog for a walk- and I usually do one of those every day. And I think--- I am OK. I will just be fat and happy, and try not to feel bad about getting the "preferred smoker" rate on my life insurance, even though I have never even tried a cigarette or about not being able to tie my shoes without breathing hard, or about my little boys thinking my mushroom top looks so interesting that they have to feel it every day, or that one of my boys is always telling me about the latest weight loss commercial. But I still wanted to find some way to get the weight off. I secretly wished that I could be AMAZINGLY gorgeous and people would be SHOCKED to learn that I was older than 26, and have 8 (yep count 'em) children!
Then I found Dr. Wright (check out his blog!) and he told me that there is a theory that obese people have a MALFUNCTION in the Hypothalmus gland that makes my body store fat abnormally, and in ways that make it not accessible until AFTER all of the normal fat and structural fat are gone. Meaning (on the off chance that I gain some will power) even if I lose weight, I won't lose it in my stomach first (more likely my breasts-- which was the one part of my body that I could really feel good about!) I started thinking about this, and doing some research. hCG is a pregnancy hormone (it is the one your pregnancy test looks for to get the positive result) so I know that I am not allergic to it, and the CLAIM is that even though you are on a SEVERELY restricted diet, because the hCG is correcting the malfunction, your abnormal fat stores are being released and YOU DON'T FEEL HUNGRY!
Not hungry? My life is one long meal- I am ALWAYS HUNGRY!! I eat every 2-3 hours, and am always thinking about what is next. Now, part of it (give me a break, already!) is because I don't like to face all the HUNGRY PEOPLE at dinner time when I have not thought about it yet... or breakfast, or lunch, or snack... you get the point. So this claim was hard for me to believe. Still, it made some sense. If my body is getting all of the calories it needs by using up the fat stores.... hmm I was going to have to try it.
Once I said I was going to do it, I still took a few days to get into the doctor and get the tests run. Dr. Wright and Dr. Purser ran a bunch of labs, and an EKG to be sure my heart was up to the intense STARVATION diet that I was about to embark upon (how did I talk myself into this? I seriously have no willpower!!) While they are telling me that I am the perfect candidate (over 30, female, with children) I am still somewhat skeptical, but excited as well. Wow, imagine me, a size 9-
All the tests come back good, and we schedule for the demonstration with the shots (Did you say SHOTS?!?!) for the next morning. I learned how to give myself an intra-muscular injection (with a NEEDLE!) in my upper right thigh. I was scared, but once I jabbed it in... I couldn't even feel it. That needle is really thin. (Not like the epidural needle-- I went for natural childbirth because I was too afraid of THAT needle.)
Now for the REALLY FUN PART!!! You have to BINGE (really? Binge?) for 3 Days prior to starting on the diet part of the plan. This is to allow the hCG to build up in your system AND to build up your normal fat stores so that when you start the RESTRICTION part of the diet, you can tolerate it. We had a great time eating pizza, ice cream, cookies, muffins, cheeseburgers, and chocolate, chocolate and MORE chocolate. Ahh the rapture....
So I started getting scared on the morning of the third binge day- what if this is a big joke? Here I am putting on 10 pounds over the weekend, and then.... omg-- what if I can't do it?!? How did I get into this mess? Here I will be WORSE off than when I started...
So I decided to "practice" the diet on day 3 of binging. I did ok-- until the kids got home, then I was STARVING and ate some leftover pizza. Later, panic REALLY set in and I ate 4 cookies, and 2 buscuits, and 3 cups of whole fat milk, followed by dinner. I felt terrible. My head was hurting, I was exuasted within the hour. My husband was worried. We went grocery shopping to get all of the healthy food for the next 60 days. I started thinking about things-- hmm. I know that white flour and sugar are addictive substances, maybe the panic is related to the addiction-- and there are PLENTY of chemicals in our food supply that are also addictive... or so I have read. I am going to assume that this is normal. I gave myself permission to be scared.
Next morning I got on the scale-- I lost 4 pounds. There must be something wrong with the scale, so I laugh it off and stick with the diet for another day. I get on the scale again the next morning (I am surprisingly not hungry) this time, 2.5 pounds. Wow! I stick with it for another day. My friend is so proud of me for or sticking with the diet, but I feel sort of GUILTY accepting all of the praise since I am not exerting any WILL POWER (which I don't have a lot of) since I am not really that hungry. Anyway, day three on the elf food diet, and I have lost 8 pounds! Amazing-- also, my hydration level is going up, and my body fat percentage is going down (so don't tell me it's all water...)
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